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29 enero Political correctness gone wrong... at least its funnyDue to the climate of political correctness now pervading America, Kentuckians, Tennesseans and West Virginians will no longer be referred to as "HILLBILLIES".
You must now refer to them as APPALACHIAN-AMERICANS. And furthermore, HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT WOMEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. She is not a "BABE" or a "CHICK" - She is a "BREASTED AMERICAN". 2. She is not "EASY" - She is "HORIZONTALLY ACCESSIBLE". 3. She is not a "DUMB BLONDE" - She is a "LIGHT-HAIRED DETOUR OFF THE INFORMATION SUPERHIGHWAY". 4. She has not "BEEN AROUND" - She is a "PREVIOUSLY-ENJOYED COMPANION". 5. She does not "NAG" you - She becomes "VERBALLY REPETITIVE". 6. She is not a "TWO-BIT HOOKER" - She is a "LOW COST PROVIDER". HOW TO SPEAK ABOUT MEN AND BE POLITICALLY CORRECT: 1. He does not have a "BEER GUT" - He has developed a "LIQUID GRAIN STORAGE FACILITY". 2. He is not a "BAD DANCER" - He is "OVERLY CAUCASIAN". 3. He does not "GET LOST ALL THE TIME" - He "INVESTIGATES ALTERNATIVE DESTINATIONS". 4. He is not "BALDING" - He is in "FOLLICLE REGRESSION". 5. He does not act like a "TOTAL ASS" - He develops a case of RECTAL-CRANIAL INVERSION". 6. It's not his "CRACK" you see hanging out of his pants -It's "REAR CLEAVAGE". AND LAST BUT NOT LEAST: "STUPID PEOPLE" are now just "AWARENESS IMPAIRED". Found by my sister at --- http://www.testriffic.com/joke/kidnkittymom/27892
Will blog about self sometime in the near future :P
Love,
Ania 02 enero Some science jokes!BIO Personals I've been single-stranded too long! Lonely ATGCATG would like to pair up with congenial TACGTAC. Menage a trois! Ligand seeks two receptors into binding and mutual phosphorylation. Let's get together and transduce some signals. Some dates have called me a promotor. Others have referred to me as a real operator. Personally, I think I'm just a cute piece of DNA who is still looking for that special transcription factor to help me unwind. Highly sensitive, orally active small molecule seeks stable well-structured receptor who knows size isn't everything. There must be a rational way to meet a date! I'm tired of hanging out in those molecular diversity bars, hoping to randomly bump into the right peptide. I want a molecule that will fit right into my active site and really turn me on. I'll send you my crystal structure if you send me yours! Gene therapy graduate. After years of producing nothing but gibberish, I've shed my exons and am ready to express my introns. All I need is a cute vector to introduce me to the right host. My RNA, I'm sorry I misread your UAAUAAUAA and inserted three tyrosines when you repeatedly asked me to stop. Something got lost in the translation. Please forgive me. Naked DNA with sticky ends seeks kanamycin-resistant plasmid. EcoR1 sites preferred. Uninhibited virus seeks reason to make me shed my coat protein. This very selective oliogonucleotide has been probing for just the right target for long term hybridization. Mature cell seeks same who still enjoys cycling and won't go apoptotic on me. Let's fight senescence together! I'm a prolific progenitor with great potential for growth and self-renewal. Call me if you're a potent hematopoietic factor who still believes in endless nights of colony stimulation. I don't always express myself on the surface, but I'm looking for a signal that you appreciate my complexity. Send me the right message that will penetrate my membranes, turn on my protein expression and release my potential energy. ---- What's out for the hottest new show on the Dizzy Channel.
A new dramatic series set in the hustle bustle world of high fashion
protein synthesis It's ...
ROUGH ER
See the drama of these hot young ribosomes as they fight to save proteins,
surrounded by the harsh and cruel reducing environment of the big
cytoplasm.
Watch as the mutilated remains of spliced and modified RNA come into the ER
to be transformed into hardy new proteins. Ready to take on anything the
extracellular environment can throw at them, as they go for the Golgi.
Stay tuned to your TV listings for where to tune for
ROUGH ER
(Sponsored by AAA, Amino Acids Anonymous)------------- Question: What did the Smooth Endoplasmic Reticulum say the the Rough Endoplasmic Reticulum? Answer: Is that Ribosome on you or are you happy to see me?----------what did the french biochemist do with his twins? he baptised one and saved the other for a control-------THE GRADUATE GAME OF LIFE (?)
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